Planned for God's Pleasure

It is no surprise that I have so much to write about and no way to get it all down cohesively.  This is what I get for not updating earlier.

The Big Move
To those on facebook, it is no surprise that I have changed locations from the Netherlands to the United Kingdom.  We arrived in Henley on the Thames Saturday afternoon and have settled into our respective homes around town.  We are all relatively close to one another and it would seem that our home stay families are friends or acquaintances.  We each have our own bed (I was sharing with our cox for the last week in Holland), and share a room with one other team mate.  The house is lovely and the family also.
It is about a 20 min walk each morning to the course for training and we either stay around have a snack then train again or on a day like today we walk home, rest and eat and return later.
The course is quite busy with both regatta traffic and leisure boat traffic.  It is a whole different beast for coxwains to navigate, even though it is a straight course;  course is lined with just above water cement barriers, weaving traffic, large boats coming toward you, a strong current due to lots of rain etc.  We manage and have settled into the hub bub downtown on and off the water.
For those who do not know this race it is quite the ordeal.  It is based on the similar idea of horse racing.  All races are dual style, so only 2 at a time head to head.  There is not the same cheering in the grand stands as the people are dressed with their blazers, dresses and hats and often are busy drinking their beverage of choice or enjoying lunch sandwiches.  However, there is betting that occurs, which we discovered after being made to weigh in on our first morning.  I suppose they think this might help people decide who the winners might be?  The point is racing is quite different here as is the atmosphere, but it is a sight to behold.  Our first race is Friday against France.  From there the winner progresses and the loser is done racing.  There are two brackets and so we won't see anyone from the other side until we progress.  There are a handful of potentially good crews such as ourselves so racing should be exciting.

The Queen's visit
One big event I experienced yesterday was the arrival of the Queen by boat on the Thames.  As a part of the Diamond Jubilee she is touring around London.  There was a river pageant put on to entertain and display the history of the river and we all got to watch as the Queen smiled as she took in the sites.  Those of us watching her gave a few "Hip hips!" as she arrived.  It was quite the affair.
(She is the one seated in blue, next to her lady in waiting.)

Giving God my Attention
In the last few weeks, a lot has happened, and in that I have learned how to overcome some of my pride, control and the importance of recognizing the little chinks in my armor that Satan will use to bring me down.  The last bit in Holland as I think I wrote, was difficult, with injuries, and boat seating changes and just taking what the coach was saying as valuable.  Much of my problem came from pride of which I am learning how to lay down.  As I began to lay that down, God was able to continue his work in me, and what do you know he presented things before me again that I had been holding onto as important but for the wrong reasons.  What is comes down to for me is, God does not have my attention, focus, or affection (amongst other things) unless I GIVE IT TO HIM.
I cannot take complete credit for the thought as I heard it first in a sermon from my London church (Gateway)but it hit home.  The series is entitled "A Life of Purpose" and covers many aspects of how we can do that and ultimately how God has created us for a specific purpose.
To go back to the point on us giving our attention to God, I realized that it was a different way of thinking of God as our center.  Jesus is always there, always watching, waiting and ready for me to look His way.  Does not take much but the return is immense.  Taking a few mins or longer to give God my attention needs to be my constant focus, and I am working to do this through the day.  When rowing is difficult or things are going well, I give a little "thank you" or "please give me courage", inviting Christ to take a lead, and therefore I take the following role.  This brings me to another point, again from this sermon series and that is, it does not matter WHAT you do but WHO you do it for.
In the time I have started rowing again I have realized that often things start going awry when I forget to give God my attention but also forget that all I do should be a gift to God.  My abilities and gifts should be used not only to fulfill the great commandment but also to worship Him.  Winning does not always happen, and when it does the high more often than not fades and you can be left with a sinking feeling.  When I hit the water for practice or a race I am confident knowing that God and I are on the same page, that I have asked him and talked to him about the day and what lie ahead.  I do my best to remember to take the time to dedicate the outcome to God's glory.

God has a purpose for us all.  It often comes through many hardships but small in comparison to sending your child to die for a world of undeserving humans.  Our purpose comes with our talents and gifts, and our gift to God is our hands open, giving God the attention and affection He deserves.
As I prepare to race on Friday in our first dual, I want and am able to say that God is there with me, hauling on the oar and helping me set a pace for the rest of the team.  If every stroke is done with purpose and meaning I can rest assured that I have more than two hands on my oar and at the end of the day I can say that what was accomplished was most pleasing to God.

To close out I have a few prayer requests and praises:
-  Thank you for continued prayer regarding injuries on our team.  Both of our serious injured girls are back in the boat and managing.  I know they are not comfortable but I believe God can continue to ease their pain until they can rest next week.  Please continue to pray for them.
-  Pray for the best conditions for our racing.  It is a hard prayer for me sometimes because I want to pray for what I think the best conditions are for racing but God knows more than I, he knows the competition and he knows me better than I know myself.  Currently we have a big current against us which makes for some hard rowing.  I know we can manage but I certainly could use a little help staying on top of it :)
-  My last request is for myself and that is that I would stay healthy and injury free.  A few niggling things keep me cautious at times but I know it is in better hands.  So far so good!

OH we are racing as Western Rowing Club so if you are trying to look at results online on the Henley Royal webpage that is who we are!

Thanks as always for your prayer and support.  I am excited to race but also excited to be back with family and friends in Canada!

Cheers!

Versatilty and experience

It is almost a week past but having just finished lunch and having some time before second practice, I felt I should FINALLY update!

As you know last weekend we raced the Holland Beker regatta, and as some may not know we had some good success.  I cannot say we had our best racing the first 2 races but the most important race brought good changes and some rhythm to the crew.
Day 1 of racing we took on the Under 23 Netherlands crew with a commanding start and slight lead early on.  They put on some good racing and we fuddled our way through the race with varying levels of success.  We did cross the line first to capture a gold medal (the first for our coxwain who is very inexperienced but certainly won the lottery with our crew).
Our second day included a heat in the morning against some club crews.  We set out with a bang off the start and because it was a heat and we just wanted to get to the final we took the rate down through the race as to not win by too much.  It was not a superbly executed race but it was an improvement on the previous day.
The big event was in the evening when we were sandwiched between the Netherlands Olympic 8+ and their Under 23 8+ .  Again off the start we took the edge out and pushed to hold on to them as long as possible.  Our focus was to keep the gap between the Olympic boat and ours as close as possible.  This was our way of making them work the entire race, giving OUR Olympic boat some data to work with.  This race was by far the best we have had.  It was quick, light and there was a good rhythm through the body of the piece.  It certainly hurt plenty but the reward was great when we knew we did all we could do.

Racing always has its ups and downs and as I gain more international experience I learn more about how I approach racing and training.  This weekend I reflected a lot on the 2x final last year at World Championships.  For those who have not caught up, my partner and I did not qualify for the Olympics last year, for many reasons but one being experience.  Racing is a fine balance of rowing like every race is a final and racing smart as to not waste too much energy too soon.  It takes time to figure it all out and sometimes there are still surprises.  At Worlds I was so confident in the POTENTIAL of our boat that I think what ended up happening is we did not realize the potential for each step of the racing process.  What I mean is that in the heat we thought we were racing our best but in reality we were holding back, not thinking of the level of racing to be had and done.
At the end of the day, you have to find some value in everything you do, and sometimes it is about hindsight.  I could not have learned from my past experience without the continued experience I have today.

Speaking of experiences, due to unfortunate events; a rib injury in one of our teammates, we have been doing some modifying of our crew to get the work in (we do not have any spare bodies on our trip).  Yesterday morning we rigged some other boats including a quad (4x), pair (2-), and a single (1x).  Can you guess what I rowed?  Of course the single!  I was quite happy to get in again and row.  I was plesantly surprised with my rowing and the change in strength to hold my body in a good position.  I also was able to row a new Hudson boat that  has a new bow mount rigger unlike my stern mounted one.  Different feeling but nice!  I might look into selling my boat and buying this new style.  So continuing about changes, Last night our coach sat in the empty seat of the 8+ which is always fun (he is a former Olympian), Oh and I have also been in bow seat for a few days from my usual stroke (another fun experience to have).  And today thus far I have switched sides to row Starboard while we rowed with one less person.  So to sum up the last 2 days, I have;  sculled, and swept both on Port and Starboard!  Who knows what tonight brings!

On other things, we moved hotels for a few days as the Novotel was booked solid.  I think they were glad to see us go... or so that is what it felt like.  The Mercator where were are now situated is quite pleasant, amazing food and a peaceful atmosphere.  I am loving being able to look out the window to see a little pond, bunnies, and birds, not to mention lots of greenery.  Our bike ride to and from the course is also far more scenic.  My roommate remains the same which we are quite happy with.  We will see how she feels after a few more days :)

That is it for now!  Please continue to pray for healing for my teammate (who is also Christian) and for protection for the rest of us from injury and illness.  Talk to you again soon!

Euro Tour 2

Here we go, post two of the Euro trip!

Tomorrow is our first day of racing, and man is it ever different racing in the 8+ as opposed to small boats.  I am so used to having heats, semis, finals at least and with the 8+ because of the low entries that are typical (the eight sucks up a lot of athletes and so most countries do not have a competitive boat) we pretty much have finals and perhaps a heat on our second day of racing. 
In some ways this is nice, in others it means you have to get it right the first time!  No second chances.
I don't think we will need the second chance as things are coming together pretty well.  We still have a lot of room for improvement but that is just the nature of the sport.  We strive to perfect one aspect of the stroke at a time, and typically have to cycle back to that point eventually.  We do it in hopes that on race day we are cleaner, faster and more precise than the competition.

In non rowing news, we have taken to riding our bikes two and from practice every day for each practice.  It is a 10-15 min ride through this part of town.  We do stick out in the commuting crowd but I think more because we are all tall, athletic and don't quite fit properly on our bikes due to our size. 
The weather here is nicer than some made it out to be.  It rains every day and has been quite windy but nothing we cannot handle.  The course is so protected that strong winds that would blow us off the water in London ON are just creating some choppy water here.

All in all things are good, I hope to get some laundry done soon and I look forward to our free day on Monday!  I will do my best to give some racing updates, but if you want to follow us online check this website:
Holland Beker Regatta

There is the option to view in English in the top right corner, and options to view live racing and results on the page also.    We race both Saturday and Sunday evening  in the W8+ for CAN

Thanks for your cheers!

Re-defining my Adventure

Hey everyone!

Well after a long hiatus I am back and ready to re-start and continue the adventure I have set out to do.  And you know what, perhaps it has changed a bit. 

My adventure is first and foremost to spread God's love, to team mates, family, friends, strangers in the street and beyond. 
The setting: On the Canadian National rowing team in whatever location we find ourselves.
The Goals: To bring people toward God's love and everlasting promise, and if I happen to make an Olympic team or World Championship team I will gladly accept and spread the news abroad :)

So now that this is clear.  The last few months have been a major roller coaster ride with returning to London, and switching from sculling in my single to sweeping in an 8+.  It has been a long time since I have sat in a sweep boat and my body was not too happy but neither was my head and heart.  After some long needed wake up calls I decided to give it all to God and let him guide my body, heart and head to His plan.  This is another reason I feel my adventure needs to be stated for God's Will.  Doing something I am not in love with is another way God can show himself; in my attitude toward the activity.

After my attitude change I have been able to simply enjoy rowing and learn more about my abilities and where I can improve.  So now I find myself with a development group newly arrived in Amsterdam ND to race the Holland Beker regatta on the first course I ever raced internationally (Under 23 team) followed in a few weeks by the Henley Royal Regatta in London England.  I am very excited to be in the group and to have an opportunity to race with Canadian colours once again, even if it is not the Olympics. 
Today was our first day of rowing and I am headed shortly for a second row.  We have a great hotel in close proximity to the course and bikes to get from A to B.  The women I am working with are wonderful, and if I did not mention it in previous posts a few are Christians as well which is a great experience also.  I have always had a great sense that God  has been working in my life and the rowing world the last year or so and this is just another way He shows his power and planning.

I do not have much more to report as of now, but I thought I should get the ball rolling again.  Perhaps I can even start getting photos in here!

Thank you so much for all your prayer even in my silence.  God is doing amazing things and He continues to do so even when things are quiet.

Oh one prayer item.  Matt and I are looking at trying to make my rowing and his career work together and to do that being in closer proximity would be nice.  If you can pray that God's will be done and that the transfer we are looking to get works if I am indeed meant to continue rowing, and if His will is to do it through other means that it be VERY clear.  I believe he will answer a one or the other prayer but I also realize God's will is not always able to fit in a box, and I by no means want to fit in a box!

Talk to you all soon!

Hebrews 12:1-3   Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Everything and Nothing

My inspiration for writing has been fleeting lately and it seems that when I feel inspired I am no where near a computer or journal to write things down.  It would be hard to say that is my only reason for not updating this blog, but it is a contributing factor.
A while ago I think I mentioned (or so I had been thinking to mention) that sometimes it is hard to write a blog such as this and then have the dream you were gunning for, slowly fade away.  I don't have to please everyone but human response is to think I have let someone down or disappointed those who have been praying and supporting me.  My dream is not gone, I am just a little confused over the game plan for my life in rowing.  I see glimpses of purpose when I get opportunities to witness to teammates, supporters and other people along my journey but I cannot lie and say that I know what is ahead for me.
So this is another factor in my lack of posts.  Not a good one, but a tough one to swallow sometimes.  But as I have learned in sport, there are days when you don't feel inspired, you feel beat down and hopeless, and in order to get to the other side, to reach your goal you have to rise above.  It is not just enough to go through the motions (although that is what happens often), but to put every ounce you have left into every stroke even if you are only able to work at 50% of your normal 100%.
This week was one like that and I did not always do the best job of rising above.  There were days where I spent the energy I should have spent on the oar on thinking about how tired and sore I was.  Did you know it takes the same amount of energy to do it right as to do it wrong?  But for some reason we like doing it wrong more than right, especially when we are in the pit of despair, hurt and confusion.  I am making it my focus in the next few weeks to change my thinking by ditching the self pity and taking on an attitude of strength, courage and that of Philippians 4:13; I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.

Now, that I have written my motivating self talk for all to read I should probably fill you in on what I am up to and the direction I am headed now.
Upon arriving back in London, after 4 weeks of healing time for my 3rd rib fracture (3rd is a charm...?) I got back on the water.  I spent a couple days in the single, easing into rowing again, and then made a big switch to sweep rowing (one oar in my hand).  I spent a couple of weeks rowing in a couple of different boats and then this past week made a switch to the opposite side of sweep (there is Port and Starboard) to help fill in some gaps.  I am happy to be versatile but it did become a little overwhelming for my body as I found out after I switched back into the single for the last few days.  I survived and I will be in the 1x for the next week as we are racing in Welland next weekend for the Development regatta (Sat-Sun, not as important for me as it is for some of the younger ones but still good experience).  I am not looking forward to the major ego hit this race will more than likely be, as I have not done much sculling lately and it does take time to reacquaint before going fast, but I will do my best, and it is always good to get a dose of reality sometimes right?
Our little group of 7 is training toward 2 European races; English Henley in London and the HollandBeker regatta in Amsterdam.  We are looking forward to it, and hope to have a better idea of what we will be racing as the Olympic group completes their selection in the next week.
Deep down I know God can work a miracle and I could be at the Olympics, but I decided that I need to step back and let Him work the wonder and not me, so I concede to the non Olympic dream this year but I am praying that God will make it clear what the plan is for the next cycle.  It is a big decision for Matt and I but we know God will answer prayer and tell me clearly whether to stay or go.

Keep praying, and believing the impossible can happen and in the end we believe that as we may worry about our future, we already know the important part, that this is not home, that our home lies in heaven with Christ.  That is our future, and it looks pretty bright :)


Song for the week: Everything and Nothing by Matt Maher
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yEMeRQs4tI

The latest and greatest

Hello!
There is a lot of new news here but nothing too riveting. 
As I posted a while back I went to a camp in Sacramento, which was a great experience overall despite challenging my mental confidence I came away stronger... oh well besides that impending rib fracture thing...
In the last day or so of camp it would turn out that I caused another rib stress fracture but on my left side instead of my usual right.  Fortunately after only a couple of days I decided to pull myself from the water and start trying to get a handle on the pain and inflammation.
From that point forward I have been off the water (now 2 weeks) and my life or rather my rowing life has been flipped upside down once again.  With 2 more weeks minimum of recovery I was not invited, despite my best efforts to the last Sacramento camp happening as we speak, and I am on my way back to London to join my old group for non Olympic events for the year.  My dream remains the same as I get myself back to full health using the bike, and running as my workouts.

Yesterday I left Victoria, with some sadness, to our home in Oregon where I will spend a few days and work my way back to Ontario with my husband from there.

I am still looking forward what lies ahead, and despite the changes I am always reminded that God has things under control... not me. 

Hope in the Lord, He will renew strength

It is hard to keep my head on straight when I am fatigued, feeling a time crunch and comparing myself to others who in the end I will be faster than.be
Camp is going well, I am learning a lot from my new 2x partner (temporary as HE is male haha).  He is a multiple time world and Olympic champ and has so much great experience and way of explaining things that makes sense.  We have made some great changes in our boat and I am feeling like I should be stronger for it.  The catch comes when I get in the 1x.  I feel slow (and comparatively am) and have not been able to transition the technical changes from the 2x to the 1x completely...yet.  The most difficult part is the time crunch that is present but I keep imposing more on myself than necessary.

I am tired, my body is on the edge but I also know that good things can happen with patience.  God continues to be good to me and gives me strength when I need it most and I will continue to trust His plan for me.  What I need to do is start fighting against the powers of negative suggestion, spiritual battering and discouragement that comes through my own thoughts but most likely egged on my Satan. 
Most of you reading probably know me well enough to laugh at my constant battle of feeling fast enough or good enough.  I do realize how silly it sounds when other times I am so sure of the next step but it still does not change the feeling of being in a pit of frustration and discouragement. 

On a more positive note, I have been encouraged during a challenging piece by Isaiah 40:28-31;

"Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and  His understanding no one can fathom.

Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall;

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles;  They will run and not grow weary;  The will walk and not grow faint.

I just kept repeating the last part in my head as we crossed the line and I know Jesus reminds me in small things of His power and might.  I would encourage you to look closely at the entire chapter of Isaiah 40.  I just read over the whole thing again and man does it speak volumes to a people who were wandering the desert for YEARS!  An 8 day trip that was prolonged simply because they could not leave their lives to God's keeping.  I don't want to wander for years I want to stay focused and trust in God, not looking to the left or the right.

Despite my struggle I feel that I am going to come out the other side faster;  this is a time of breaking down then building back up stronger than before.  Patience, trust and courage are the keys to making it back on top.
Prayer requests:
-  Injury -  I have been holding up ok but having some rib issues that are manageable right now but hope to clear it right up!
-  Sleep!  I am not really sleeping well and most certainly need it.
-  I need to keep focused and free from Satan's grasp.  I want people to notice something different about me, so they will start to think twice about who leads their life.
-  Continued safety and recovery for all the athletes and discernment for the coaches and staff.

I thank God for my supporters, the ones I know and don't.  On hard days I can hear individuals cheering me on and reminding me of what I have set out to do. 

Live, boldly, hold open your hands and raise them high!