What a week! I have been put through the ringer and made it out the other side.
I cannot remember when I last felt like my body had been completely crushed, and my soul left floating on the water! This past week I had my mind tested as well as my body while the U23 coach who took over all remaining athletes at the center put us through a week of killer workouts, one on top of the other. The week was going by quite quickly until Wednesday hit and the lactic acid had not cleared from previous workouts, leaving me in a serious hurt locker for the remaining 4 days of the week which made Wednesday look like a Sunday picnic. I am so proud of myself for getting through, but I will not lie, I whined, I cried and I was frustrated on more than one occasion with the coach. You see, when you work your body to the limits, you can't act or think logically, your emotions are just waiting to burst from you and one simple thing could send you into hysterical laughter or tears.
In these moments, it is a fine line of becoming distracted and being in a place to make great gains. This is something that I am being taught right now. It seems that the theme of focus is rising for me, and this was a big test. It is easy to see where you are headed when things are going well, easy to believe in yourself and trust the grand plan. When we hurt, are tested or put through the fire we tend to blame others, doubt the process and those who put it in place. We don't always have to know what is going to happen and I don't believe that we even have to feel great about it to get something out of it. By at least being aware of the fact I was being "whiny" or negative I was able to force some focus and let go of some of my reservations in order to get the job done... not to mention a lot of desperate prayer. Could the job have been done better? Perhaps, but sometimes a little is better than nothing.
I don't know that any of this makes sense but what I am trying to say is that in order to achieve goals, live out God's Will (not my will), and make the most of every situation we need to keep focused on the goal and no matter what gets thrown your way, know that even if you cannot see it now, there is something great in the end.
I admit, I may now understand the purpose of last week in my training curve but I have no idea how it will play out in the end. I suppose I will see it soon as the rest of the team returned today and I will more than likely have my shot at a World Champ boat... right after a trip back home for my husband's Winging (graduation from flight school).
One side note regarding my trip home. There is always an up to a down and always a reason for every action and this has been true for my injury. My husband has given up a lot to let me follow my dream to row on the World stage, mainly fresh laundry, good cooking and a clean house haha just kidding... kind of :) But for real, he has given me his blessing and support to do this and the least thing I could do was attend his Winging, one of the most important days in his career as a Coastie. Just a few months ago it looked like this would not happen, I thought I would be in Europe and busy training. And although I am amidst training being injured put me here in London, and able to attend this special day. I know I would have regretted not being there, even though he would not have held it against me. The Lord is good and delights in seeing his children smile.
So for the next few days, as I head home and celebrate with my husband and family, the focus will not be about my dream but about the journey that brought him to his.
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