It is the end of the first week back to the training center and I wish I could say it was an easy week. We came back to a week of various tests; lactate, power tests and an end of the week performance 2k. Our last test will be this coming Monday for strength (lifting). I don't want to sound like I am complaining because I really do enjoy test week. It is always neat to see how you have developed over the weeks and can give encouragement as well as some direct feedback on weaknesses.
I have no idea the results of most of my tests, the debrief day is set for later this week but I do know I have put it all on the line.
The 2k I do have results for, and for the first time I can remember I had a very distinct answer for the coach when he asked how it went "Phenomenally". For those that know me, this is not something you hear often coming from my mouth after a performance, good or bad. As funny as this sounds coming from my mouth, I tend to understate, mainly because I feel there is always some way one can improve and unless everything went perfectly any result could be better. Yesterday however, I did execute an amazing race on the erg despite my fatigue, tired psyche and doubt on the day. But with good preparation physically, mentally and nutritionally not to mention spiritually I was able to rise above those and make big decisions during the test.
I won't go into much more detail but I finished with a 6:54.7 time which if you recall is about 5 seconds faster than my last test which put me in the hunt for the carding (which I did get). I cannot say one bad thing about the piece, I felt strong from start to finish.
Leading up to this test I had started to read Ryan Hall's book "Running with Joy", an inspiring read, and began to think about how my faith has changed the way I approach life, and my sport. My faith changed first, from a wavering belief in God's plan to a steadfast and true understanding in what God has in store for me. So many times in my adult life I recall wanting to believe that God's plan was before me and I did not have to worry about it and thinking that was faith but all falls apart with the word "wanting". After I started to allow God to love me like he wants to (no strings attached) I found it easier to take the word want out and simply say "I have faith". This means letting go of who I think I am, what I think is best for me and allowing God to show me the path he has already laid out, before I was even born. How easy is that?!
When I gave up rowing in about 2009 I truely believe it was God telling me "it is finished". And on the streets of Boston walking home from the book store I let it go. But it was in letting go of my passion that God was able to give me it ALL.
A year or so later God placed very clear signs in front of me to pursue the sport again. It took me some time for me to see that He was setting something before me but when I started to take those small steps of faith, I saw God's great faithfulness and provision each step. And now those little steps have grown into a daily walk. I would say leaps of faith but I feel like that implies that I have doubts and I have no doubt that I am on the right path. I don't know what comes next, most of the time, but I do know that it is always greater than I could imagine. It is not about what I want to come next but what HE wants to come next and that is sometimes the hard part, praying for His perfect plan not mine.
This verse has stuck with me all week;
2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith."
How true this is. In approaching my 2k this week, this was the verse I kept going back to, whether during preparation pieces or at home eating one of many meals for the day I have kept this close as a reminder that no matter what happens today or tomorrow I can be at peace with having fought, completed the task and all because of my faith in Christ Jesus.
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